Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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