I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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