Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
