i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
