Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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