I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
How's work?
Spinning.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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