I forgot how hot balto sounded
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
