You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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