Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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