So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
