question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
