Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
