the condom got lost in my hair
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just had sex on a roof
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
