Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
