butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
