I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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