Heybabeimwearingurpanties
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize