Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You took a bar mat shot.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
