Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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