Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize