The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
