No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
