i think i have two assholes
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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