I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
