Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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