we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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