It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
