look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Do you have feelings for this penis?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
