Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
