if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
it glows. i had to have it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
