Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
