Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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