Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
