Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize