I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
