you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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