Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
