Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
