She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize