Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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