Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
