I love black thongs
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
