we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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