so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
