i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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