i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
