I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
