Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
