I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
