i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize