is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize