It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize