We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
