Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
