The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
