All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
