what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
