Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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