God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
