I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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